i miss my best friend.

hopefully ill have some money next week so i can drive to chicago to see kelly. i miss her.
possibly moving there for the summer too if i can find a place to live for cheep.

im sick of this town already.


tomorrow going to a show with courtney. and getting my hair done in the morning.
i cant wait..

you're my best friend.

and i just want somebody who will fight for me,
as hard as you fight for her.

fun filled evening.

and im heading out to lansing tonight to celebrate the birth of my dear friend jordan.
i hope tonight is fun and not full of drama..




"its like love that way; once you arrive, once you are firmly aground in a love, you begin to see that it has cracks and rough edges and dirty spots, pockets of toxins, less privacy, maybe, than what you had imagined. but if you are willing to remember the initial distant beauty of a love or a daydream, and if you are willing to live in that beauty up close even with all its imperfections... then the dream is yours to have."
- off the map



The words don’t flow so simply through my teeth like they stream through my brain. Thoughts of my life seem so much more simplistic in my dreams than in reality, and benieth my skin are bones and organs that function in ways that are not voluntary, they move on their own in order to keep me alive, and I find that the most remarkable thing about life.
-me

shes got talent.

going to my sisiters middle school talent show.. how fun right..

im also still sick which sucks. now its an ear infection and strep throat.

ugh

just another way to make my life less private.

made a twitter today. haha

follow me.

twitter.com/MadisonFromMI

im not sure where we belong.

and after its all done and said she loves you more than life it self.
you're lucky to still have her love considering everything you've done.
i cant look at you like i use too knowing just all that you did.
the words you say these days i want more than anything to believe
but you were never an honest person, what makes me think you've changed.
please just show me you've changed so i can trust you again.
and i hope you dont kill her inside with any more lies.
she deserves better than you.



"I usually don't like thinking about the future. I mean, let's face it, you can't predict what's going to happen. But sometimes, the thing you didn't expect is what you really wanted after all. Maybe the best thing to do is just stop trying to figure out where your going, and enjoy where your at."

I'm done getting my hopes up.
everyone just lets me down.
i want to find happiness in the shit hole of a state.
but all thats here is a boy who broke my hart
and a few friends that will forget me in 10 years.

maybe ill soon be rich and wont have to stay here.
but for now it looks like my parents house is were ill live.
this isnt fun for me. i wouldnt be fun for anyone.

oh my stars.

Now I know why
you're floating away
like a white balloon
untied today or last night
I like the sounds
you make when you sleep
like you're eating a meal
grinding your teeth or just breathing
Oh my stars
Crying, "Oh my stars!"
Oh my stars
Can't strangle anyone who has light
in their life
Put your mouth here on my belly
Put your fingers in my hair
After mountains there are valleys
We can fall asleep there
Sometimes it's hard
thinking about how the plans we made
won't happen today or tonight
I'm trying real hard
to not make you feel
like you've done something wrong
by leaving the chips open
(I won't wake you up)
Singing, "Oh my stars"
Oh my stars
Oh my stars
Can't strangle all my friends and their wives
and their sons' wives
Put your neck here on your best friend's
Hold your mouth up to the phone
Use the seatbelt like a bookend
We can sleep when we get home

cardigan weather.

i found this sweater in the mens section on sale. 9 bucks! what a steal

its safe to say.

we can simply be just friends.

i write outloud my thoughts some times.
and i talk to myself when i take long drives.

i know i am different and i know i am to kind.
but ill live my life and accept my flaws.
you taught me today that regardless our poor decisions in the past,
we can move on from that and just learn to be more honest.
and maybe by being honest the same mistakes wont happen again
we will hurt less and trust more.
i hope what you told me is true.
because im starting to trust you.




im feeling better today. i think ill go see a move tonight.
i ate penera twice today. yumm. and i didnt have to pay both times. how great.!

later folks.

i just felt like talking about myself.

im sure you could find people similar to me. but you could never find another me. i could try to tell you im unique but i am honestly a little bit of everyone and everything ive meet and experienced in my life. im not perfect i drink a little i party occasionally i dont smoke and drugs just arnt my thing. i like attention but who doesnt, but if you like me too much attention and i might think your smothering me. i use to say im not interested in meeting any one and that im not really ready to date but thats a lie now.. to bad every good guy i meet is either taken or has some crazy ex girlfriend.. i hate guys with baggage. and what i hate worse is guys who lie.
so if some how i stumble upon a man who honest with a hart just as big as mine.. well i just might never let him go, and i might just be the happiest girl alive, because finally i will get to relate to every sappy love song that i hear, every chick flick romance movie i see, and finally that fairy tale ending i read about when i was little.

back to reality.

i hate being sick. my drive home from Florida was the worst.
i but heres a few pictures from my trip.

the sunshine state

Finally a vacation.. Im in florida and its so nice here.. The weather couldn't be more perfect.

its def. Nice not having school any more

And ill be sure to post pictures of my trip as soon as I get home.

its finally here

tomorrow i graduate. =)
friday i leave for FL
i get home march 15th.
hopefully take state boards by the 30th
last week of march. trip to CHICAGO.
visit my best friend kelly because i miss her way too stinkin much.
stay for like a week or so.
let april go by and hopefully work and save some money.
may hello COLORADO again.
spend 2 weeks with my amazing cousin and friends.
get home back to the mitten state. and settle in
back at the rents house,
work a whole lot and see where i end up.

i hate that my parents still ask about you.

went back home today.. its finally starting to kick in that i dont live in East lansing any more.. its kind of depressing but oh well i need to save money and start working.

today im wall papering my bedrooom and my grandma is coming up for it. i might drive down to my cousins house tonight i miss her and she said she has pictures of our dresses for her wedding already. im excited. its kind of crazy shes only a year older than me and shes already meet the man shes going to spend the rest of her life with. and i cant even find someone who wants to date me or tell all his friends about me. or even introduce me to his parents.. i want that im tired of feeling so alone.