i look forward

Out of all the things I could do with you I look forward to sleeping with you the most. Not having sex but more than that – just sleeping in the same bed, you holding me in your arms and me falling asleep on your chest and waking up with you right next to me. That’s what I want. That’s what I look forward to.

and today you told me i was the first thing you thought about this morning. and you sent me a photo of the sun rise over a palm tree, it was one of the most beautiful things id ever seen. and i felt special because for once i was somebody's someone when they woke up. and i want you to know you were mine.

pain and avoidance

i woke up this morning and wanted to cry my eyes out. i played a song that made my mind spin and every thought of sadness awake in my body. there was pain in my stomach and i had to piss but avoided leaving my bed.