we'll sleep the day away tomorrow.

its 2 am. my roommate just came home from an eventful night of drinking. me on the other hand just finished doing hair. i made a good amount of money. i am just exhausted now. =(

i cant wait for tomorrow i get to see an old hart throb up at central. =) ohhh boy ohh boy..

anyways sweet dreams everyone.

because all we have is time on our hands.

name ten things you wanna do before you die and then go do them.
name ten places you really wanna be before you die and then go to them
name ten books you wanna read before you die and then go read them
name ten songs you wanna hear again before you die, get all of your friends together and scream them

because right now all you have is time time time yeah,
but someday that time will run out.
that's the only thing you can be absolutely certain about.

think of all the things that are wrong with your life and then fix them
think of all the things that you love about your life, be thankful you are blessed with them
think of all the things that hold you back and realize that you don't need them
think of all the mistakes you have made in your life, make sure that you never repeat them

because right now all you have is time time time yeah,
but someday that time will run out.
that's the only thing you can be absolutely certain about.

name ten thousand reasons why you never wanna die, go and tell someone who might've forgotten
try to list the endless reasons why it's good to be alive, and then just smile for awhile about them

soon the sun will rise and another day will come
soon enough the sun will set, another day will be gone

and right now all you have is time time time yeah,
but someday that time will run out.
that's the only thing you can be absolutely certain about

it was sunny today and boredom struck

"There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone, it's like it wasn't there at all
And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night"



im staying up late because i dont have to work tomorrow.. my two best friends graduate tomorrow so i have to go out and buy stuff for their stations

i cant wait for my graduation only 7 more days! =)




this weekend i get to see you for the first time in a year. its been awhile and we had a bumpy past but you're that summer sweet hart im dieing to see again. im glad we kept in touch.

i just want to share how i feel.

because im just in that mood where i have no one to talk to so my last resort is bloging.

so i apologize if you actually read this and you're just anoyed.



i just want to be happy i want to know that what im doing isnt wrong and that everything happens for a reason. i want to know that i can build friendships that wont break and keep people in my life that i truly care about, and truly care about me.

im tired of feeling lost, and i just want to feel loved. i think i deserve that, i think that i deserve to find people in this world that actually might treat me well. i deserve to be happy.

and curiosity came when trust was lost

stop giving people the incentive to think that way.
be honest and then people will quit assuming
because when you're truthfull people trust you.





i finished my room paint wise and cleaning. im wall papering one wall next weekend. and then it will be finished. i can't wait
moving home doesnt seem so bad any more.. i just wish i had more friends back home to spend time with once i do move.
good thing i leave for vacation the day after i graduate. =)

and we want to make mistakes sometimes.

i thought about driving for miles to see you tonight you're in my town with my friends and im going to miss out on making mistakes with you again, but im making the right decision by staying here at my parents home, avoiding all possibilities of us.

i just dont want to miss you tonight.

i just dont want to miss you ever.

you may just be a stranger.

i have a crush on a boy who tans at my work.
he came in again today and we talked while he waited..
i know i sound lame but hes just a really nice guy
and im afraid to tell him hes cute.. he knows i put in my two weeks though and he said hed come in an tan on friday again even though his memeber ship is up just to see me before i go..



today is another long day.. im driving home tonight after class at 10 to my parents house and then staying the whole weekend.. i have alot going on back home that i have to get done.. im painting my room this weekend and i really want to wall paper it. well at least one wall i want wall paper on.

and my friend nick made me a huge mustache to hang above my bed.. im so excited for it. i think he's giving it to me this weekend.. heres a pic of it.. be jealous i know you want a big mustache for your bedroom

and we'll camp because it cost less.

15 days till i leave to panama.
drunkin days and sleepless nights.
with 15 friends camping on the oceans side.


i cant wait for spring break.

"The time has come," the Walrus said

"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

i quit my job today.. put in my two weeks and i am moving home.
i spent the morning getting talked to by my boss about how the other girls complained about me. which is kinda of funny because i do so much shit for that place.. and its spotless when im working.. the christmas decorations would still be up if it wasnt for me.. and the bathroom well that will never get cleaned when i leave..
ps. if a manager is going to sit there and shove me under a buss well maybe the boss should know you sit on the computer all day playing games and not doing shit.



when i saw you the other day it had been awhile sense the last time we talked.
and it was hard to look at you but when i did you stared back
we knew exactly what each other was thinking
but we didnt say anything because it was to complicated.

i love when we kiss and i can feel you smile.

its been a month and i finally spent the morning with you.
i wish we wouldnt have had to part. maybe we could have napped the day away.
or something like that.






11 days left of school. then off to panama for a vacation. but its not so much of a vacation because im not getting away from anyone.. just going with the same people who consume most of my free time. my roommates and the people they associate with.
i hope i enjoy myself.

i found comfort in the clouds.

i think about you all the time

you're constantly in my head.
i hate the fact i want you bad
and the fact i should hate you
for all the shity things you do.
you lie you cheat you make me wait.
you only want me when from time to time

and the silly thing is id do anything for you

id drive 5 hours to see you.
id stay up all night for you
even when i have a full day ahead of me.

id give you everything money and gifts
as long as you smile because of me
and think for a second about me.

i cant help it.
im stupid for you.
i just wish you'd be
stupid for me too.

look at it as lucky

its friday the 13th. and im starting to feel like its a lucky day for me more so than unlucky.

i want to have free time today but i doubt ill get close to having that.
i have to drive home tonight. so it looks like a long day for me.

i hope the cute boy comes in to tan today.. maybe this time ill tell him i think hes good looking haha

oh boy.. today today.

ps. found somethings i think are wonderful

im starting to envy the people who have someone special. i feel like i missed out on things like first love and long relationship.
mine have never lasted more that 5 months and the last one i was even serious about was 4 years ago. but i miss that little relationship i did have.. it was so cute valentines day i came home from school my junior year and at the time was dating steven and when i walked up to my bedroom door i had a rose at my door and when i opened my room my entire room was covered in roses and heart shaped balloons probably theeee sweetest thing some ones ever done for me.

i wish there was someone willing to do the adorable things for me again like he did. i want that feeling back of knowing that i have someone who truly cares about me that way. i wish i had some one that when he kisses me i get butterflies and he gets short of breaths. some one who wants to play with my hair and i can rub their neck when they've had a rough day. i want to have dates and sleep overs, movie nights and PDA at all times. i want to be shown off to all of his friends and not kept a secret. i want to have that type of relationship that every one hates because they are so jealous off..


let me have that please.

i think i need a city or something big to dream about.

we dream feelings.

i think at times were really better off expressing our feelings through some kind of outlet.
with out letting go of somthing and without letting out how you feel you become trapt and bound to emotions that never go away, they will never escape you.

hes just not that into you.

i went and saw that movie today. hes just not that into you
and its an eye opener no lie.
i feel like i am always that person that just knows all about the signs
and when a guy doesnt like you, and what to avoid, and when hes really just not into you.
i know when a guys wants just sex and when hes actully looking for a realtionship..

but im just that girl that always avoids it.


i dont get caught up when a guy doesnt like me. i dont bugg them when they done call.
ughh im that person that wont find anyone simply because when i finally have it i no longer want it.
and when i want it they usually dont. and so i leave it alone.




ps. my roommate is trying to tell a story right now and hes being so anoying i wish i had ear plugs.

goodnight.

sundays not an accomplishment

i want to be at the grammys

being famous would be pretty sweet.

lets start a rock band. maybe people would like us.

i can feel it in my lungs.

i am so tired and so sick.. i just need to sleep all day.. but i cant because work and school.. its no fun..

i have no money for food so i am starving at work. =(

work is so boring today too.








i sort of want nothing to do with any sort of relationship right now.. its kind of shitty when you find out that alot of boys lie about everything. even when they dont have to.

stop trying to tell me what you think i want to hear and just give me the truth. at least with the truth maybe we can be friends..

please and thanks.