for those of you who are concerned about the swine flu

haha you should be me right now. my dad works and lives in Mexico. anyways they sent him back to the United states. and hes under quarantine in our home in case hes caring any strand of the swine virus. well my mom is a teacher and they wont let her back in schools untill next week because shes been exposed to my dad who is a possible carrier of the flu. and i live in the same house as them wonderful right.

but besides the swine flu. i had a nice night 

doing nothing with dom again.

im happy. just thought i should share that. 

confusion.

i have no idea how to read people. 

i use to be great at it but im so confused now.

im starting to like somebody who i thought enjoyed my company.

 but lately its like i feel like im just bugging him. 

ughh the other thing is he doesnt make me feel that love kind of feeling, there are no real butterflies im not head over heels yet, and that worries me.

but when im with him i feel comfortable

i dont know what to do these days.

eff my love life. seriously. 

unfortunate events.

bonfire went well besides the part where eddie jumped the fire and a nail went through his foot. 

ohhh boy.. 

currently im laying in bed with LO. were not really sleep well im not at least but weve got zumba in the a.m. ughh wakie wakie at 7. blaah 

mindless people.

tonight i realized.

honestly tonight was the first night i didnt miss you. 

and i think its because im starting to care about someone new.

i didnt realize how stupid i was for thinking you were somthing special untill i had someone actully care about me and not just pretend too. i think the whole time you and i ever existed 90% of it was all made up in my head because of that 10% of lies you fed me implying you and i were more than friends. i now feel like i was just being used. and i dont mean in that kind of way. but in a way where all you really wanted was someone to ease your mind from the rough patch you were in with the one person you really did love. but i didnt deserve that.

im honestly happy for you that things worked out to your benifit. its just really shitty that my emotions were apart of it. 

thank god i found someone in my life who is starting to make me realize what i deserve and how i should be treated..  thank you. 

but o my god.

you remind me of everything i love.

The stuff i Find attractive in a person, i always regret.

i always like a kind of madness in someone. 

i like it when they hate me right from the start.

the only normal people are the ones you 

don't know very well.

you and i

had a big love affair

and it didn't work.

but some where 

in the middle 

my god. we tried.

the morning after nights i dont sleep.

easter.

i enjoyed my easter. 

it was different this year not having my mom and sisters here. 

it was just me and my dad. 

he made me a easter basket i was really happy and it was unexpected.

im glad i have a dad like i do. 

anyways i ran into an old friend today too. it was so good to see him.

and it'll be nice hanging out with him again hopefully soon.

well im off to bed and i just felt like blogging sense i havnt in awhile. 

xoxo. ps. im leaving you with pics from friday night. blaah anytime with courtney is never dull. lol heree weee goo.

is something wrong with me.

i just havnt had the best luck lately.

and my love life has been non existent sense the eleventh grade.

thank you for clarifying things tonight. 

more vids.

i wouldn't want friends like yours.

im trying to understand how someone wouldn't want to cut out people in their life who make it difficult to be happy. 

what im more concerned about it how they know that its best to forget about them but at the same time fight to keep them in their life because these are the people who they consider friends. 

but honestly true friends would support you in anything you do and care about you in a way where you wouldn't second guess them as a friend let alone be worried about what they want you to do.

 

when we sleep.

we dream. 

pb&J

oh vids. bro.

this is what i do when im bored.





this is what i do when im out with friends.. in bathrooms.