tonight i realized.

honestly tonight was the first night i didnt miss you. 

and i think its because im starting to care about someone new.

i didnt realize how stupid i was for thinking you were somthing special untill i had someone actully care about me and not just pretend too. i think the whole time you and i ever existed 90% of it was all made up in my head because of that 10% of lies you fed me implying you and i were more than friends. i now feel like i was just being used. and i dont mean in that kind of way. but in a way where all you really wanted was someone to ease your mind from the rough patch you were in with the one person you really did love. but i didnt deserve that.

im honestly happy for you that things worked out to your benifit. its just really shitty that my emotions were apart of it. 

thank god i found someone in my life who is starting to make me realize what i deserve and how i should be treated..  thank you.