don't forget to breath.

keep your head above water 

but don't forget to breath. 

tired.

i have exhausted all of my options and am only left to resolve my issues on my own in silence. 

my dads uncle passed away this weekend the day before my birthday. i should not be upset or sad i was not very close with him. yet im afraid of loosing any thing in life even distant relatives. my fish even died on my birthday. this is really taking a toll on my emotions. 

my thoughts lately are sort of blank. the little things are hurting. 

i need a change and a positive movement to make my skin feel smooth again and my soul revived. 

stay simple like the sea.

i want to spend a day in the sea with nothing but the wind and the wake to keep me company.

we strive on our goals

ive finally gotten my dream job and can set goals for myself again. here they are........

- save 80% of every pay check.
- work my butt of and make a good impression on my coworkers
- in 3 years have a down-payment of property or a home.
- pay off my student loans
-travel when the opportunity is available
- meet new people
-make more friends
-fall in love.

idealistic future.

If my thoughts could reiterate themselves over and over into marvelous words that spoke from my lips they would speak of love and laughter, just pure happiness you know like the little thing.

-me

i knew i would have to admit i was wrong i decided to not talk no more.

In this desperate time we try our hardest to find divinity in, well in anything.Waiting on hope to hit us, like sold semi truck harder than ever almost destroying anything our bodies are made of, causing no real emergency almost like catching fire all that would be left is ashes, and in this case our souls could catch peace in the simplest things like the wind. Empowering our remains to find comfort in the trees, the grass and the bees.

-me

"Stop having set “qualifications” for a boyfriend/girlfriend. Being a lover is not a fucking job, and you’re not hiring a fucking employee. and yes, they will make mistakes. Yes, they will be different from what you expected. They’re human, and they have no fucking clue what they’re doing. But they love you, and they love every minute of you. So please, give them a chance."

- Got Wisdom. (stole this from Rachel k.)  

Phenylethylamine (PEA), the chemical responsible for the swooning and feelings of adoration, is structurally similar to cocaine. Most people choose cocaine over love when given the chance. I wouldn’t say that’s a bad choice. The endorphins released during infatuation are similar to heroin; only they don’t make you skinny and pale. Oxytocin, “the cuddling hormone” most often found in new mothers and newlyweds, are like ecstasy- every touch feels a bit tinglier. Love exists in a bottle. In a syringe. I want mine diluted with water.

i want to study the geography of your body. i want to start a revolution with you. i want to write secret notes on your back as you sleep next to me. but what i really want is to tell you that regardless of everything, i love you. even if you never love me back… i love you. i hope that when you’re laying in bed after a night spent in some distant state or country, watching terrible tv, that you don’t feel alone. i love you.

and she left before she could get hurt.

im moving to colorado. i fly out first week of june to look for a place to live. 

im excited and nervous at the same time. excited to start a new chapter of my life but nervous to be alone. 

this new adventure will be a turning point in my life for the better.